I love making brimstone bread. Between the dark crunchy topping and the soft inner core, it’s perfect for everything from sandwiches, to burgers, to just slathering with butter and eating warm from the oven.
When I make this in Hell, I like to roll my dough in the deep pits of sulfur and soul dust and cook them in the hot brimstone vents. Unfortunately, as you are mortal and have neither access to soul dust or brimstone vents, I’ve had to make a few adjustments to the recipe for you.
While these rolls aren’t actually “Hell Authentic,” they’re close enough to get the job done.
Now because the Devil is in the details AND because sloth is one of the seven deadly sins…I’m including two ways to make this bread…
For the Devil’s Way, there is the full homemade bread recipe which takes several hours.
For the Sloth version, grab a box of bread mix and skip down to almost the end…
For the Devil’s version you will need:
- 5 Cups flour
- 2 1/4 Cups warm (not boiling) water
- 1 Tablespoon active dry yeast
- 2 Tablespoons oil
- 1 Tablespoon salt
- 2 Tablespoons sugar
- Red food coloring
IN A BOWL, MIX YOUR YEAST, sugar, and water together thoroughly. Allow them to rest for 5-10 minutes. As it activates, the mixture will begin to bubble and foam. Now is the time to say any incantations you might be partial to over your mix. I prefer the always classic “Double double, toil and trouble” but feel free to use whatever works for you.
GRADUALLY ADD IN YOUR SALT, flour, food coloring and oil to the foaming mix (add enough red so your dough is a deep solid color. Too little and it will turn out pink after it bakes.)
As you mix, the dough will come together intoone large lump which should be elastic but not too sticky.
TURN DOUGH OUT ontoa lightly floured surface, and knead briefly for about 2-3 minutes or until the dough is smooth and soft.
PAT THE DOUGH INTO A BALL and place into a bowl. Cover with a towel and allow to rest undisturbed for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, turn dough out and knead for another 2-3 minutes. Repeat these two steps a total of 5 times.
On the fifth time, divide your dough into 12 small balls. Place the balls onto a cookie sheet and cover with plastic wrap and allow to sit undisturbed in a warm dark corner for 4 hours to allow the yeast to rise. The dough should double in size
To make the sloth version you will need:
- 1 box of bread mix
- Red food coloring
Make the mix up according to the directions on the box, again making sure you add in enough red food coloring to have a deep dark red color.
Divide your dough into 12 small balls. Place the balls onto a cookie sheet and cover with a damp towel and allow to rise one last time for the time as stated on your box mix.
REGARDLESS OF WHICH VERSION YOU CHOSE, YOU SHOULD NOW HAVE 12 BALLS OF BLOOD RED BREAD DOUGH. NOW ONTO THE BRIMSTONE TOPPING!
Brimstone topping:
- 2 Tablespoons active dry yeast
- 1 cup warm water (between 105/115F)
- 2 Tablespoons sugar
- 2 Tablespoons vegetable oil
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1 1/2 Cups rice flour
- Black food coloring
- Red food coloring
PREHEAT YOUR OVEN TO 450˚F/230˚C
In your mixer, combine the yeast, sugar, oil, salt and rice flour. Mix your black food coloring in with your water and add that to the mix. You want your topping to be as black as you can make it, so feel free to be liberal with the food coloring. You can also augment the blackness with activated charcoal if you have that, but I wouldn’t add more than three capsules as that can change the flavor of the bread later on.
The topping should be thick and sticky, but still fluid enough to slowly ooze and drip off the end of your whisk.
Cover and allow to sit for 15 minutes.
Take a big old wad of your black topping and smear it all over the top and sides of your red dough balls. Don’t worry about it being too thick, you’re better off erring on the side of too much than not enough. If the topping is too thin, it won’t crackle the way you want it to.
You could do this with a knife or a spoon, but trust me when I say it’s so much easier to just use your (clean, washed and dried) hands.
Let stand, uncovered, for another 15 minutes. This allows the topping to really adhere to your dough balls.
Cook your bread for 15 to 20 minutes or according to the directions on your box mix, making sure that the pan is on the center rack of your oven.
As it cooks, your topping will crisp up and shrink back, creating the deep cracks and fissures that make brimstone bread so distinctive.
Once they’re done cooking, allow to cooluntil they are comfortable to handle. Once you can touch them without burning yourself, crack one open, slab on a fat slice of butter, and enjoy your brimstone bread!
Because of their shape and size, brimstone bread also makes perfect buns for a damned good burger.
Mmmm…delicious.
Bone appetite!
